Getting Serious? 8 practical things you should consider first
When we’ve been dating a person for a while and things have been going really well, eventually, the question of a greater commitment will inevitably arise – the question of getting serious. In the midst of a whirlwind romance and in a moment of starry eyed love, it’s easy to throw caution to the wind, forget all the practicalities and make a commitment that you might eventually regret.
Whether it’s getting married or just moving in together, the sheer inconvenience of moving all your stuff out again, let alone the heartbreak of a separation, should be enough to make you think carefully before making such a commitment.
So, if you are about to take the plunge (we leave behind the happy relationship advice and love tips for a moment) and look closer at the more boring, yet essential practicalities of sharing your life with someone. We ask you here to take a step back and take a hard, cold look at these eight practical things that you should consider before getting too serious:
A difficult one to ask yourself when you are head over heels in love, but do you and your partner’s motives for moving in together really co-inside? Are you looking for the first step in a lifelong loving and happy relationship, while they are looking for a convenient way to half the rent and share the costs?
Have you discussed money with your partner? It’s always a difficult subject to broach, but reaching an early agreement as to how you are going to manage your shared resources will avoid any misunderstandings and arguments later. Who will be responsible for paying the bills? Will you have a joint bank account? Are you aiming to have joint savings? These are just some of the questions that are best asked earlier, rather than later.
You are thinking about sharing the rest of your life with this person? You may agree on the venue for an ideal date, but do you see eye to eye on ambitions for the rest of your life? Do you have ambitions to travel the world and they have ambitions to catch the next episode of their favorite TV show?
Like it or not, when we get serious with our partners, his or her family comes with the package. Possessive mothers, disapproving fathers, wayward siblings; they will all have to be dealt with on family gatherings and various occasions and can put a strain on a long term relationship.
Are your aspirations the same when it comes to having children? A long term relationship that inevitably leads to settling down with a family is not everybody’s cup of tea, nor is it the idea of a perfect life for certain people and disagreement on such a fundamental thing can spell the end of an otherwise happy relationship. Therefore, make sure to clear this point up with your partner before getting serious.
Are your ideas of what constitutes a clean and tidy home the same as your partner’s? It may just be a minor irritation now, when you stay at their place at times, but if you’re fastidiously clean and tidy and your partner isn’t (shall we say, he/she is more relaxed about cleanliness), can you live with that every day?
7. Chill Out Time
Most of us are very different when we are on our own at home, than we are when out with someone else. Chilling out at home after a hard day at work will now be a joint thing, so making sure that you enjoy relaxing at home in similar ways could be vital. The happiest relationships are those in which partners can share their pastimes.
How well you and your partner communicate is an essential element of being able to live together. If you find it hard to discuss issues openly and honestly, then those issues will just fester and grow. Living together with another person means sharing with that person everything that life throws at you, good and bad. If you can’t talk about it – you can’t solve it.
This list may seem a little cold and callous, but getting serious is just that – serious! A small amount of calculating thought before making a commitment might just make sure that a loving relationship lasts and grows and doesn’t end in an acrimonious parting of the ways that you both regret. You know the saying: “I love them, but I just can’t live with them.”
I hope you find this relationship advice and dating tips useful.
Feel free to share your own relationship advice and thoughts on this subject in the comment section below.