Relationship advice: 10 Tips on how to avoid arguing with your partner
No one really likes arguing with their partner, but arguments in a relationship are inevitable sometimes. In some ways, not ever arguing could be seen, as being unhealthy, as it shows that you simply don’t care enough to be bothered to argue anymore. Many arguments, however, are unnecessary and completely pointless, so if you have ever found yourself wondering what even started an argument, then read our ten tips on how to avoid it in the first place:
1. Don’t let anger become rage
What constitutes a heated debate and what constitutes a raging argument is difficult to define, but what can be said is that rage rarely achieves anything. Keeping your temper under control, even when you are angry, is vital if a problem is to be solved. When anger turns to rage, then people can become irrational and say or do things that they may later regret.
2. Try and put yourself in your partner’s shoes
Even if you don’t agree with your partner’s point of view, at least, try and understand why they feel the way that they do. Having even a little empathy with each other will help to keep the discussion a discussion and avoid it elevating into a fight.
3. Try to diffuse an argument, not win it
There can’t really be a clear winner in an argument between lovers. If one person does win the fight outright, it won’t be the world title that they win, just a whole lot of resentment and bad feelings. If you stop trying to win, then you will take the heat of the argument away, and, actually, no-one needs to win in an argument, try and reach a compromise instead.
4. Don’t use the past as a weapon
If you start dragging things from the past to use as a weapon in an argument, then the argument can only get worse. It will degenerate into a pointless tit for tat, mud slinging session that cannot end happily for either of you.
5. Don’t think that an angry exchange will ruin a relationship
Despite all this advice about not arguing, you should still feel that you can express yourself. Having an angry and honest exchange does not end a relationship and, sometimes, it even does it some good. Just as the expression suggests, letting off steam, reduces the pressure.
6. Admit when you’re wrong
Anyone can make a mistake, but it takes a bigger person to admit when they have. If you are in the wrong or have made a mistake, then be big enough to admit it. Reverting to a defense of ‘I wouldn’t have done this if you hadn’t done that’ is just another accusation that will only serve to fuel the fire of the argument.
7. Call a time out
It sounds like you’re naughty children being separated in a fight, but if the row is going nowhere, then call time out, go to separate rooms and give it break! Given a bit of time on your own, you might both be able to think a little more clearly and come to a more sensible conclusion to the fight.
8. Try and lighten things up
Someone has to give in eventually, so why not make that easier and try to lighten the mood a little. This is someone you love after all, not someone you want to hurt. Don’t belittle the issue in hand, that will only make things worse, but try and suggest that arguing is not going to solve anything.
Many arguments occur as a result of couples not communicating properly. Don’t be afraid to discuss things with each other, even the potentially awkward things, or small issues not discussed can grow into much larger ones in the future. This can often happen simply because you don’t set aside time for talking, so make that time happen.
10. Remember what’s really important
When all else fails, remind yourself of what is really important. Is whatever you are arguing about more important than your relationship? If the answer is ‘no’, then find a way around this problem. Not for you, not for your partner, but for the relationship. That’s something that you can both agree on.
Do you have some other tips and relationship advice on how to avoid arguing with your partner?